Lesson Alpha: OPENINGS

Starting Class. Beginning Scenes. Arseholes.

Welcome to the rest of your improv life.

We know you can make scenes, now we’re going to make sure you make good scenes. Sometimes you won’t, plenty of times you will make scenes that suck. That’s ok, because you’re going to do a lot more scenes. A lot of scenes. Too many scenes.

I don’t care if you make a mistake in here, as long you are ready to have two feet banging on the stage. That goes double for warm ups: screw up, brush off the clothes, back in the game by the next round.

By accepting this class, you are now Improv Warriors.

For better or worse, you will be treated as such.

Welcome to the rest of your improv life.

Take charge

There are many ways of kickstarting this fearlessness on stage. Developing a close personal happy relationship of trust and joy with all of your teammates is one. Being some sort of oligarch I suppose might do it. But it is far simpler to simply unlock your inner arsehole.

Please be bigger arseholes on stage. By that I mean do what you want in a scene, the moment you want to. And don’t do what you don’t want to do. By this point pimping and blocking and all that should not be something you fear. You are advanced improvisers, improv is now easy for you. So any offer shouldn’t be too big, and if it is make me play it too. I rather you just say No aggressively then say Yes half-heartedly I don’t need you to have my back, thank you, Iturst my abilities and I trust the audience. I do need your characters to stab me in the back, to mock me, kill me, fuck me over. Be an arsehole out there.

But I love making the other person look good: Great! Then do that, do what you want. I do too, so that’s why I’m giving you this permission. Just don’t hesitate. Do it whole heart and whole body. The best way to make someone feel good is to listen to them, and you can’t deny an offer you didn’t hear. Don’t just make them look good, believe they are good. Trust they are good, and that they can make themselves look good. There is a common improv expression ‘treat your partner like a genius’. This is great advice, and part of it yes is respecting their idea. But the main thing you do with genius, I think, is ask them questions. Is assume they know all the answers, and can easily handle you questioning them, challenging them, pushing them to be amazing, or at the very least do the thing they’re a genius at a little. You don’t need to make a genius look good, they are good!

But I thought we were friends: We are! You can be as nice as you like to me off stage, it’s all fun and games, I like you guys very much. But on stage, grab every moment as if it’s your last. I want you, friend, to get all you can get. I will help you get the laugh, and I know you will help me, but don’t think they’re a rare supply: if your having a hot night, good! Good show is good for me.

I still don’t get it…..I thought improv was meant to be supportive: I promise you, hand on heart, I feel supported by a strong player making big brassy choices. At the very least, I don’t have to worry about you out there, but even better strong players can take anything I throw at them and throw me plenty of offers.

I still don’t like the word arsehole: Yeah, fair enough. Call it your inner…..Beyonce, confident and talented and pretty sure she’s hot shit. Or Danny Ocean, a natural leader, or Superman, there is nothing Superman can’t do, and if there is anything he can’t do (because of kryptonite I guess) he better start mentioning it. Nobody is going to angry at Superman, because he is so strong and fun to be around.

Take Two

At the very least, it makes my job as teacher easier. If you are improvising harder, louder, and more obvious, then it it a simpler task to see what you’re getting the hang of and the embarrassing amount you’re not. We will be doing a lot of scenes, so get a bunch wrong, then get up and get it wrong again. Ruin scenes, ruin my scenes, it’s class. You can’t learn to drive if the car won’t go out of fear or politeness.

At the very least, understand they characters you play will on a spectrum have arsehole tendencies. Maybe they won’t be outright villains, although arseholes are rarely full blown villains anyway (how often do you meet a villain?). Rather, they might be too honest, or they might be a bad listener (you aren’t, but your character is) or overly attached to one idea (this is very common in story). Comedy, specifically and fundamentally, is built on the back of arseholes. Every character in Friends has a tiny bit of arsehole in them, and we like the characters in Friends. A puppy dog is lovable, but it’ll still bark, bounce around, and chew the drapes.

To play characters with these tendencies, you need to make the move. You need to be bold, you need to take the shot and just hope it lands, if you wanted to play it safe and be sure your making the right move…write, don’t improvise. Your scene partner wanted to improvise, so improvise.

I mean it’s only for five minutes at a time max, even if you were for real an arsehole five minutes of one day I’d still forgive you, let alone as part of a plan.

You are improv warriors, own the battle ground.

Enjoy!

Additional Notes

Yes And is an oft confused term. I’d say we should jack it completely, but I don’t have a better term for what it does while not doing what it doesn’t do. My failings aside, here is the problem: while Yes And is the cornerstone of improvisation, literally Yes Anding is just for beginners. It’s to encourage listening to your partner, committing, not breaking the fourth wall, all that stuff.

However, it also leads to only one type of scene: the grand adventure.

“Oh look, there’s a big dragon’

‘Yes, and it’s coming right at us’

That sort of stuff.

But comedy, as you well know, does not often come from complete agreeing. Mostly, it comes from tension. Most scenes would be better if you said ‘No’.

‘No, I’ve seen bigger dragons’

That line gives you a clear character.

‘No, don’t look, it will see us. Dragons are only dangerous if you can see them’

That line gives you a whole scene to play around with.

You can say Yes to the improviser, by saying No to the character.

So not to throw the baby out with the bath, here is what you can and should say Yes to: Yes, their character said that. You can’t pretend they didn’t say anything, that won’t work. You should respond to what they said, but how you respond is up to you. They’re not the aladdin making a wish, they’re throwing something in the potion pot. Since we rarely lie in improv, let’s expand that to Yes, their character believes that. The initiation giver truly believes they see a dragon, and you can accept that fact.

You could even simply fuck him up and say

‘That’s not a dragon, that’s a horse’

This is fine because you’ve accepted his reality, to a degree. However, what is more important is the And. You have to explain WHY they see dragons when they’re really horses. Did they think they fought and slayed a dragon, when all they did was kill a horse? Do both horses and dragons breath fire now?

Now, I know what you thinking: your horse scene sucks, that dragon scene would have been much better. That’s true. I would definitely say yes to that scene. But most of your initiations are going to be more like

‘Here’s your soup sir, it's very delicious.’

If you literally yes that scene, its you eating nice soup probably.

But if you accept their reality of offering you soup, but say

‘its not delicious, its crap’

or

‘this is hardly a soup, its just a bowl of cold water you found on the ground’

or

‘I don’t care if the soup is delicious, I’m going to use it to bath my little bird friend’

Wow now THAT’S comedy.

Yes And by literally saying Yes is barely Anding. Its really just one And your taking your sweet time to say. Say No, and justify why, and make them justify their initial Yes.

Let me stress, for now Yes And away. Its pretty much the only skill you need, and one you will always need to remind yourself to do.

Yes. And. It’s all you need, but not all you say

You got that? Great, because I’m about to start messing with what I just said.

Like many things in improv, there are different things with similar terms. THE game of the scene vs Game. Relationship can mean POV, dynamic, or literal label of relationship. Don’t get me started on Top of your Intelligence. (all this shit we’ll get to in good time, sorry to jump around).

Yes And is one. Yes And can and does describe the agreement mentioned below, but yes (and) it also describes the process of saying yet and adding something in the same circle of expectation.

Yes And the process is a vital one at the top of scenes, perfect for establishing…well, lets umbrella it under the base reality (relationship in all its forms, location, all that what is normal in this world stuff). But once the unusual thing arises, however it came about, you stop yes anding and you start playing game. Once you’ve found that game, there is almost definitely going to be some dwelling, some back and forth, some argument. Why breeze past a fun thing to explore?. Furthermore, if you have an opener your pulling from, if you’re going from premise, this you ideally aren’t yes anding at all, that was done already. One person will lay out the base, and the unusual thing, in one fell swoop.

If someone says something is true in a scene, sure assume its true. Good improv. But know that’s all that you have, a character saying something is true. They might be lying, They might be mistaken. They might be correct, but missing the bigger picture. It’s your choice.

Two of the most common questions I get asked is how should one start a scene, and how do I end one. Which is weird, because they are the shortest parts of the scene. Noboyd asks about the middle, unless the scene is tanking.

But frankly in the next few weeks we will be all about the middle. And a little about the end (its basically edit on a laugh or an interesting irreversible change. Emphasis on edit)

So that leaves starting a scene. Let’s get into it.

Starting a scene

Starting a scene is easy (I will give you a preview: every bit of improv is easy on its own). You can literally start with anything: grab an object, make a declarative statement, make the other the weird thing, be the weird thing, take a posture, an attitude, a character, recognize any of those things in your partner.

It’s pretty hard to go wrong, because the scene is only about the beginning at the beginning: it very quickly becomes about that much longer middle bit, and who cares about that right now. The scene could very well be unrecognizable from the beginning, so let’s start unboxing. Make mistakes now, smash shit together, let’s see what trouble we can get into.

We talk about making a choice. But that implies you are weighing up options, when it can feel like vacuum or a cacophony of noise, respectively. Maybe just…make a mark. Anything. Everything is random right now, because its alone, unconnected to anything. The first stroke is not the painting. Once you have one thing, finding something that goes with is easier. If your scene partner makes a cutting action, maybe you’re in a barbershop. If you’re in a barbershop, maybe you're getting a haircut. If you’re getting a haircut, maybe the haircut turns out bad. You don’t need to decide this in an instant, although it’s not huge leaps of logic. You can discover this over minutes.

Alright so we all agree any choice is the right choice, but you still got to make the choice. What do you do?

1. What is the format asking for? Some formats require scenes to start certain ways. Some are carry- overs from short form, like starting a sentence with the letter R., some have specific openers or characters or body movements you have to start with. Obvious, if it’s a rule you do it. Some are more vague, but there is an definite expectation, and these usually fall into it organic scenes or premise scenes (where we start with an unusual thing NOT the game). We’ll get to that a little later.

2. What is the suggestion asking for? Interesting thought, and differs from person to person. Sometimes you ask for a specific variety of suggestion, like a location, and then its deciding how to fill that space. But more often, it’ll simply be a general something, and then the answer is what you are inspired to do. Take for example the perennial ‘pineapple’.

Are you inspired to be holding a pineapple, growing a pineapple, sharing a pineapple with a dying friend. Does it make you think of Hawaii, school lunches, spiky unpleasant feelings, sperm, whatever you’re inspired by. Because it is meant to be an inspiration, not a challenge or a chore. That little suggestion always sends ripples through my brain, sparking some many thoughts and feelings. It’s one of my favorite bits, on and off the stage, that half a second of pure inspiration. Castle. Loneliness. Worm. Touch.

P.S: Don’t feel you need to be interesting to the audience with interpretation of the suggestion, just be interested. If grenade makes you throw a grenade, so be it. Grenades are cool! The suggestion is to get the ball rolling, not kick the goal.

P.P.S: There are improvisers, such as Dave Koechner and Improv Conspiracy, who like to make an element of a suggestion into their character. Become the suggestion, not play the suggestion. This is great, but….I dunno, I haven’t seen this happen yet without a tiny bit of confusion and eventually disappointment from an audience, which is a tough way to start a scene. They wanted to see the ripples too I guess. The audience likes to take the leap with you I think, and feel like that they are part of the show. I might be going on a tangent.

3. What floats your boat. What I just said, but more so. Some people like to start a scene doing silent object work (ok, cooking). Sure, yes, I don’t like this, it way too often just a stall tactic, and a direct invitation to the other player to make this scene about this activity. But, really, I don’t like it because I am more of a verbal player, so I start with a big fat verbal offer. I do what floats my boat. If you’re a object work fiend, or just feel inspired to do it now, go son go. Every choice is the right choice, if it feels right to you. What does its feel like your character’s name is? What do you want your character to wear? Does your character want to kick this puppy? Puppy example aside, if you like it in that moment, chances are a good chunk of the audience will too. It might not be the choice you’d make in the same scenario five minutes from now or twenty years ago, it might not be the choice any other player would make, but that’s only a good thing.

4. What is your partner asking for: This might be an odd duck to put last, after such a rousing call to follow your own drum. But it’s probably the easiest one to do, and the most effective, so we’d be dumb to ignore it. Did you partner give you a big fat offer? Take it buddy. They called you the president, get presidential. They called you a slimeball, get slimeabally. They asked for a wrench, give the a wrench. They ask for a sandwich tell them to go fuck themselves. Or in a more subtle way, they don’t directly ask for anything, they maybe start bragging about how strong their legs or something. Well, give them something that shows how strong they are, or how weak they actually are, or takes those strong legs away from them. Which one of those three do you do? Whatever floats your boat.

And that’s all there is to it. Well, ok, actually, hang on, there’s one more.

5. What does your improv school ask for: Ok, likely this isn’t going to come up, and if it did you’d know it, and even then they’d probably be cool with you doing whatever anyway, it’s the first couple of lines calm the farm. But in my limited research one of the big difference between all the schools is how they start the scene, so I might as well do a quick thumb nail sketch of the difference types. It is broad and mostly inaccurate, but we’re cheat sheeting this stuff.

Annoyance Theatre: Choose something, anything, about YOU, right from the beginning. A limp, a love of chocolate, whatever. Hold onto your ‘deal’ no matter what your partner does.

UCB: Choose something about your PARTNER. An anger unsuited for the monkhood, they are a surgeon with horse hands, whatever. Hold them to their ‘unusual thing’ no matter what your partner does.

IO: Choose something that BOTH of you share. An intervention, a worry about your children, whatever. Hold onto each other in an embrace befitting your ‘relationship’.

Pack Theatre: Choose to listen to EXACTLY what is being told. Hold your position numb-nuts (for 3 lines or 30 seconds, whatever comes first)

Johnstone: Choose something about your ENVIRONMENT. Do an activity, live in the normal.

I don’t know enough about the other schools to comment further.

There’s no great way to initialise a scene. Sure, there a bad ones ‘why did you poop your pants, jakiki-woop-woop’ both asks too much of and determines too much for your partner. Clarity. Names/Endowment. Setting. Having a strong perspective yourself. All great building blocks. But all option categories have flaws

Strong: ‘take this magic wand, my apprentice’. Great for less experienced partners, it takes a lot of struggle off of their shoulders, its jumps right into a good scene, the audience is on board, everything great. But it also can deny building a scene organically together, can lead to quite predicable scenes, if it goes bad you’ might both feel the other screwed up (your shitty idea, compared to them not following a plain instruction).

Comfortable: ‘another day done, eh boys’. A pretty safe place to be, really. It gives them a big in, while leaving plenty of room to grow, its the shove that gets the ship moving while we unfurl the sails and set the course. But it better be followed by a strong reply, or the scene is quickly stalling.

Soft/psychic: ‘wow’ or ‘’antiestablishmentarianism’. Great for those who love to react hard, or the motor mouths, or the hour scene, or your bosom chum who knows your every move. However, three pointers get more because they’re harder to hit. It could be brilliant. It will probably be a confusing, or slow, ope ning. If it means ‘I trust you’, wonderful. If its means ‘I have nothing’, we could have problems. It may be needed if you have zero suggestion though, to prove its not preplanned.

All this proves is the opening line is important, but not the scene. Listen, explore, and find your own way.

The moral of the story: do what you do, and do it loud and proud.

Phew, thanks for reading, holy heck

Additional additional reading

Article by Will Hines I mentioned briefly, about lying, meanness and stupidity choices. http://improvnonsense.tumblr.com/post/42133118671/lying-meanness-stupidity

For more, like a lot more, about taking care of yourself, look into Annoyance theater, and the book Improvise by Mick Napier.

The Power of Negative Thinking by Bob Knight is also pretty good. It’s a book about basketball coaching.

Cheat sheet

Do not be afraid to make big improv moves. Improv has existed longer than the written word, you can’t break it. Story and comedy require something to go awry.

This is your stage now. Own it. These are your scenes. Change them.

Support your scene partner by supporting yourself. Support yourself by following the fun. Fun is funny, or at least fun.

The beginning of the scene is tops 10 seconds long. Nobody cares. Get it over with. There’s a man eating shark in this scene and you’re making me wait.

The suggestion is to get the ball rolling, not kick the goal.

If a character says it’s true, the only thing you know is true is that they say it’s true.

Everyone came here to make up some shit, so don’t stress about making up some shit.

— Lindsay Evergreen

Activities

Sceneous Interuptous / Give Em One: This is a good warm up scene exercise, as it practices starting scenes from a giving and accepting offers perspective. Keep in mind, it’s still a warm up, you can do dumb little nothing scenes.

Nah, fuck that: One person gives an offer, the other finds some reason to reject it. Scene ensues. I like this activity for several reasons, not only because it’s just funny to see a flat out deny. It’s cathartic I suppose. But it allows you to cherry pick an offer for importance, getting used to going against your scene partner (while secretly supporting them), and to back up your obstinance in the next line.

Now, a word of caution to the tale: simply rejecting something in a scene out of a blase attitude or just being mean is a common, easy move in improv. And despite my call for arseholes, this isn’t exactly what I meant. This is why I think this activity helps. Because built into the stark Fuck That (and you can say I rather not if you’re going a different route) is the Nahh, you thought about it, or decided, this decision is that a DECISION, not just a knee jerk reaction by a lazy improviser. You can not care for something, but care why you don’t care. Fuck that implies it offends you on a deep level. This is the final straw, your moment.

I like this activity, because it doesn’t dictate the who is right or wrong in this scenario.

I like this activity because it takes the pressure right off the receiver, because they have destiny and control over what is coming at them. They can cherry pick.

I like this activity because it takes the pressure right off the gift giver too. They can choose to give beautiful heartfelt suggestions. They can choose to give any old suggestion off the top of their head. They can choose to give deliberately shitty suggestions to inspire a good reaction, you can even do deliberately juicy offers to give the receiver a bit of a moral dilemma. Any opener is good, because you’re playing with warriors now.

Who/ What/Where: In three lines, very short, these three things have to be established. If you establish them all early, go into more detail about any of them. You both have names, not just a relationship. Who owns this location. Why do you do the What you do.

Variant: We did this in class. Before line two and three, out loud say of the three what has been established, and what that was. Shocking how hard this is at first, but it seems something you should aware of right? If it’s on stage, there’s a good chance the audience saw it, you’ll need to know it too.

Solo activities

Next time you’re watching improv, or even just thinking about, make note (like an actual note) of the best, coolest, funnest moves you see. Just a couple is fine. Maybe do it a few times, at different points. Reread it before you go into class. What do you like about those moves? Maybe make a few moves like them. Or don’t, but at least you have a few option in your back pocket. Now should you force moves, of course not. But if the opportunity comes up, know that these moves have been officially declared awesome by you, so why not make a few. Asking yourself ‘what would a great improviser do’ is shockingly effective trick to jump starting your good moves. Bonus points if they’re moves I’ve made.

Watch something, anything. Sitcom, movie, whatever. There will come a point where someone in the show etc suggests someone else do something. Pass a note, go on an adventure. Pause the show, and say ‘nah, fuck that’ and justify why. Its great practice, and you’ll make yourself laugh occasionally. Bonus points if you do it as the character on the show. Big bonus points if the actual character says roughly the same thing.

Walk in the shops like you’re fucking awesome. Play fucking awesome music if you like. Pick up oranges like you’re fucking awesome. Wait in line like you’re fucking awesome. Treat yourself to an ice-cream…you get the gist. I dont know why, but this seems to make you hyper aware of what you are doing physically WITHOUT stopping you do the actions properly. You are NOT shopping like an asshole. But I will accept shopping like a twat.