Harrison Ford urges Cincinnati residents to ‘eat his garbage’
OHIO — Hollywood curmudgeon Harrison Ford, who today lives in the Ohio city with his paparazzi, means business. The silver screen stalwart has commissioned several large billboards angrily admonishing the good people of Cincinnati to consume Mr Ford’s discarded trash since he has so much of it.
“I am the star of The Fugitive, and Air Force One. I think you owe me” said Mr Ford through a megaphone from his porch.
If his call to action is heeded, Mr Ford has agreed to make a personal appearance to watch you eat, and to ensure you’re not just putting the trash down your sweater or something.
However, the cinema side-piece has point blank refused to throw out more palatable detritus to offset his usual broken glass and loose poison.
‘It’s garbage’ he says. ‘Eat it’.
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A print edition of this article appeared in the Cincinnati News Moose on Nov. 20, 2018, but Mr Ford chewed it up himself to show how much we’re all acting like “damn babies”.
